HBS

No, not Harvard Business School... Happy Birthday, Sola!  She is 1 year-old today and all grown up.

Hella Big Saturday coming up--Ryan and I are heading up to see mi familia and
Have Barbequed Salmon

Heard a biographical secret
heard between silences

Holy books solve
hovering bee songs

Have barnacles Stuck?
How 'bout stickers?

Hips been shakin'.
Honestly. Beyonce still.

Hesperia? a bit south.
Honks bristle streets
honored by slowness.

Hunks of beveled silver:
my hungry blues song

Hamsters bopping, sopping
Hiking, bending, stretching,

Horse, bronco, songbirds...
Hippo, bison, smartypants.

like Hannah's been saying,
and a hundred bright sonnets--

Humankind: be silly!

Ryan took these photos yesterday. I like them.

Happy Birthday, Sola.

And here is a baby picture--barely two months old:

And then around four months old, the floppy explorer:

Awww.

I know we've seen a lot of my cats lately.  I'll show you something else next time, okay?

Love,
Katie

The Cats Say Hi

Sola usually stays away from the bed. I think this is because it is Luna's territory. Luna sleeps on the bed every night.  But this morning, at 5:30, Sola was lying on my foot, pacing across my hips, slumping over my shoulder... she just wanted to go outside, but of course, I ignored her. I am not going to reinforce that behavior!

Anyway, after her eventual jaunt through PlantLand, she came back inside to make sure I was brushing my teeth safely. What a sweet girl. And Luna was a little grumpy... glaring.

An Upside Down Candle to Support the Scandal

For real, sitting at my kitchen table, I've flipped a jarred candle over and used it as a stand for my cell phone, on which I'm watching Scandal, the television drama by Shonda Rhimes.  Well, not presently.  Presently, I'm on my lunch break at work.  The past week or so, though, Scandal over breakfast, Scandal as I wave around the cat toys for my cuddly predators, Scandal after I tuck myself in for bed.  I still have about 25 episodes I haven't seen yet.  I understand that Season 4 starts on September 25, so I've got some time with that; however, classes start in two weeks.

Last year I did the right thing and cancelled my Netflix account when school began.  That's how it goes.

I'm also still (somewhat obsessively) planning and imagining a future family. I think three kids would be good. I imagine a daughter with very long hair. I've daydreamed my way through walks, and practiced difficult conversations we will need to have, worked out phrasing I will forget about in fifteen years. But she doesn't exist yet, so it seems sort of pointless, an exercise in imagination that will have limited exposure on this blog.

That's part of the reason for my radio silence. I guess my thoughts have been a bit too personal to share on the wide-world-of-web lately.

What's new?

On Friday, my boyfriend asked if I wanted to go to Las Vegas for the weekend, and I explained that I would love to, but I have to do laundry and I'm not fully prepared to get married this weekend, and he said, "No, not to get married, just to visit."  OH RIGHT. Haha. And then he offered to do my laundry and clean my apartment for me.  Since he works from home now, he can do that kind of thing. See how easy it is to let my heart get ahead of my head?  *sigh*

This summer has kept a level of humidity and heat that seems unusual.  It is my first summer living in this valley, but I was only living 30 miles west before that, and summers are usually dry here in Southern California.

We had a great time in Las Vegas.  We didn't even get close to the Strip, which I appreciated, since I'm generally not feeling the sloppy-drunk-people scene. Instead, Ryan and I hiked around Red Rock Canyon and visited with his friends who live there. We left early on Sunday morning, and lounged around my apartment for the rest of the day.

We're going to hear some jazz tonight in his neighborhood... I'm excited about it, but part of me is also like, but then I can't watch Scandal!  Talk about #firstworldproblems.

Anyway, here is a photo from our trip to Red Rock:

Thanks for visiting, and see you next time. 

Yours,

Katie

Tuna

On Friday night, Ryan and I were eating sushi when we decided that instead of seeing a movie, we would drive to the mall to shop. A friend's birthday party was the next day, and I determined that we should get her some nice fish towels from Williams Sonoma or Sur le Table or something. Oh, I mean dish towels. That was an auto-correct keeper (I'm blogging from my phone, one-finger typing while eating my salad left-handed).

The local mall doesn't have these fancy kitchen stores ("What?? Really? " I thought. I know. I'm so spoiled) so we drove across town to a mall new to us, where the Google foretold we would find the fancy dish towels.

I was feeling all silly, in love, navigating and looking out the window at a jewelry store with tacky painted windows when I had a silky thought I had to share (silky = silly; thank google keyboard).

"Ryan, what if the navigation said TUNA left instead of TURN left?!"

"Tuna left? Where'd she go?" Hahaha. I love this man.

And the fish towel mission was successful.

Hey Okay, So.

"So" is my nickname for Sola the kitten.  When I say, "Okay, So,"  I wonder if she thinks I'm saying, "Oh, Queso," my little cheese!

Ryan just sent me this and I had to share it. I'm smiling so big looking at her fluffiness and her little white paws o'er the walls o' Cat Tower.

Well

Today I am feeling well. I have these organic blueberries that are monstrous in size and bold in flavor--a rare combination unless it's July!

I have been trying to figure out my whole life, i.e., plan for my future.

Sometimes I think grad school is just too much work right now when I want to have a family. But I don't have a family yet, duh, so on we go through the classes.  But if I do get married and have kids before I reach the 30 units I need to complete the program, that is okay with me.  The units can wait a few years.  Kids might not.

Being in school while I'm working full time is tricky. It is hard. It is a great experience for me to help me empathize with others who do this.  Having little time for myself will be good preparation for when I do have kids!

It can be stressful to juggle work and school, because I want to excel in both realms in my life. Actually, "I want to" is an understatement.  That is not the type of student I am. It is not how I function. I must excel.

This post is going through my head on a regular basis.  I have already shared these feelings with several people in my life.  I think the tricky thing is just waiting and refocusing my vision on the present.

The two cats are outside.  In my sink are two bowls, two spoons, an empty tea cup.  My hair is damp and I'm barefoot, but besides that, I'm ready to go.

Off to work then.

xoxo
Katie

Dishonesty and Cooking Problems

I wrote this on Sunday and it didn't publish.... here it is, a little late.

I haven't been entirely honest with you.  There have been some problems this year, but I have learned from them more quickly than I learned from previously problems.  Because of this willingness to accept my failures, I mostly forget about them.  When issues have come up, I have been able to state my mind with a firm backbone like never before. Still, I'm far from the perfect paragon of strength.

After my last post, and continual posts which state that I am happy, I wonder if  I am sounding boastful or fake.  While nothing is terrible, everything is not perfect.

I have to tell you something funny, which was that I made dinner and it was horrible.  I was starting to like cooking, and, bolstered by confidence, added fresh rosemary and crushed garlic to salmon, which I baked. Oh my god. It was so bad.  I just had to share that failure, had to be real with you.  I've had good luck with salmon in the past; this time, I've learned a lesson, and will go back to what I know.

I didn't get into cooking very easily.  It has been a rocky road, full of disasters. Then I read The Art of Simple Food by Alice Waters and started believing in myself and getting excited about salad.  That book truly changed my life.