Dreams of the Future

Grad schools is pretty cool but man I cannot wait to have time to myself to read what I want to read! And bead what I want to bead! I investigated sea glass jewelry this evening. Frosty blue, wire, shiny green, bumpy things.

This morning: languor; this evening: vigor. I languished, I viguished. I extinguished a sandwich, expanded lavish language.

I had a lot on my mind today. Thinking of moving again. Since I graduated college in 2009, I've moved nine times. I thought I would stay in this cute little apartment I'm in for at least a couple years, but since I've fallen complete head over heels, I think this lease will not be extended past September. That's okay. My strategy for moving is to tackle all the little things with little shopping bags and marathon it. I probably walk miles back and forth with small loads. I leave the heavy lifting up to stronger muscles than mine, but I still have gotten into better shape each time. Where to move? Sherman Oaks? North Hollywood? Culver City? We'll see.

What else is on my mind? It is no secret that I look forward to having a family someday--I think I've only mentioned it on this blog in every single post (I'm thinking of Christa's shirt: "Hyperbole is the best thing ever!" which she told me about when I said it would be funny to have a shirt that said, "I hate irony."). I say it's no secret, but I still feel like, maybe other people think it should be.  Am I oversharing? Anyway, I figured it's never too early to start reading up on parenting strategies.

I just finished listening to an audio book called How to Talk so Your Kids Will Listen and Listen So Your Kids Will Talk. Shout out to my Mama and Papa: they never read this book, but they pretty much nailed it on modeling respectful communication. What I liked about this book is that it uses tons of examples of scenarios in which a kid is upset or doing something undesirable and the parent can help the kid adjust to a needed change.

There have been a few times when I've been out and I've seen really upset children and parents at their wits end, and think, "Do I really want this?" How to Talk has given me great confidence that I can deal with what comes my way. Plus, I've read that most parents have no idea what they're doing, but you figure it out as you go.

I'm looking forward to moments: Seeing what crazy things make a baby laugh. Seeing applesauce on the kid's face after failed attempts with a spoon. Car dancing. Practicing how to read and write. Doing art together. And I keep thinking that someday I'll have two long-haired teenage boys eating everything in the kitchen and joking around with each other. I love those boys. I have all of these moments and dreams floating through my head, and it's wonderful.  I think sometimes that there will surely be points when the dreaming is more fun than the reality. Still, I also know how good I feel when I work really hard, and when I'm doing something I love.

Those thoughts preoccupied me this morning, but when I came home, I was able to do just what I needed to do: cleaning, resting, cleaning, writing. And now, here I am, sitting in bed, smiling, yawning, good-nighting.